It may feel like you have been in a sleep deprived funk for 2 years and here we go again, your toddler is protesting at bedtime, stalling at every opportunity and then waking in the night calling, shouting “mummy, daddy” and not only that, they are ready for the day at 5am.
If any or all of this sounds familiar to you, then stick around as I am going to be explaining why this is all happening and give you solutions that work for my 1-1 clients every time so bedtimes are easy, everyone actually looks forward to it because it is a calmer, more enjoyable experience and they are not starting their days at 5am.
When can it occur?
Hang on to your hats guys because this may happen as early as 15 months. Typically can happen anytime between 15-18 months and then bang, again around the age of 2.
So why does the toddler sleep regression occur?
So many developmental milestones are happening around this age that can contribute to this sleep regression.
15-18 months-
Teething (which just seems to go on forever right?!) Central incisors and molars are pushing through. The rumbling under the gums is going to be felt and of course at night when the brain activity is low and blood pressure is low the teething pain is felt more. Check out my blog HERE on teething.
Physical development - Is literally coming on in leaps and bounds. It can be exciting for them and difficult to switch off and settle down.
Language development - the cognitive juices are flowing now and you may hear your toddler wake in the night and start chatting away to themselves for a while.
Separation anxiety - just like around 9/10 months stronger attachments are made especially if they are in day care. There may be a little bit of fear coming through that causes bedtimes to be hard because they know you are going to leave the room.
The need for independence due to physical development progressing - they want to feed themselves more, put their own shoes on, walk along the street on their own. They are starting to want autonomy.
2 years old as above but a few more spinners in the pot…
That independence is going to really push through now. Your toddler wants more autonomy.
Fear - this is a new and real feeling. Whilst it may have started to occur around 15-18 now it's a real thing. Speech development may hinder your child being able to express their fears but often you will see it in behaviour, the sound of their cries and how they are physically around you perhaps clinging tighter or even shaking.
Over tiredness - some toddlers drop all naps as early as the day of their second birthday and then they need to adjust to longer days. Day care is exhausting so keep an eye on bed time.
Cognitive development - imagination and problem solving activities start to be part of their day more and they want to play at night!
Emotional development - toddlers become a lot more emotional at this age and very determined like putting shoes on can take FOREVER and there is no way you are allowed to help!
What are the common signs?
You will see bedtime resistance, wakeful nights and / or early morning starts. You may find your toddler really struggles to go back to sleep again. More “tantrums” occurring, refusing nap time and crashing out at 5pm making bedtime really hard.
How long is this going to last?
Be prepared for 2-6 weeks.
What can we do to fly though it?
Regardless of your child's age, first of all you need to rule out any possible medical issues that may be contributing. If your child is snoring or mouth breathing this is going to impact their sleep. Find out more here why. Some children have ear infection /problems and this is also going to impact sleep. Worth just having a check over if you are concerned.
Look at the total amount of sleep your child needs in a 24 hour period. If they are having a nap look at the wake window before bed. If it is too short of courts they will stall at bedtime. Ideally you are looking at 5-6 hours wake time.
Maybe they are currently having 12 hours in 24 and now only need 11.
Look at how you are responding. It is so easy to bring your child to the bed but this is the quick fix and if it is not something you want to continue to happen then stop right there or it will become a thing. If you are offering milk in the night, again, stop right there. Those hunger hormones will kick in and sugar highs will become a thing every night.
For the 2+ year olds try using these bedtime routine cards. It really does help my clients because it gives a clear pathway to bed and whilst children are visual little creatures this is going to be gold for them.
That separation anxiety when they just want to be with you, give you! Stick photos of you and your child together doing fun things around the cot, make a little photo book they can take to bed with them or give them your smelly socks to wear to bed so they can “look after them”! These things have really helped a lot of clients I have supported with great results.
Be patient. Easier said than done I know but it may take some time and you may need to explore one avenue of adjustment for a good week before trying something else.
Consider reeling in some help! This is exactly where I can help you. With my 30 minute “save my sleep” call I am going to be able to troubleshoot for you and give you a clear and concise way forward with more solutions to ensure this sleep regression does not incur any sleep habits you do not want to continue.
As always, peaceful nights to you all,
Rachael,
Your Paediatric Sleep Coach
xo
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